


Visions

by Laure Alexander (ladyoneill)



Series: The Alpha Series [12]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Rape, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:43:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/pseuds/Laure%20Alexander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My very brutal version of Angelus' turning Drusilla. Not for the faint of heart.  Also, told from Spike's perspective as Drusilla gives him the visions of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Visions

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on February 7, 1999, I'd been writing online for a little over a year and apparently this was the most violent and nasty story I'd written, so much so that I felt the need to put the following warning before the header:
> 
> _This story contains graphic violence and rape, along with graphic sex. It is not intended for children or anyone who is bothered by reading about violent rape. This is very different from anything I've posted to this list. You've been warned; do not be suprised at how brutal this is._
> 
> So, there's that...
> 
> Also, as mentioned before, this was written well before we knew Darla was present at Drusilla's turning. And, finally, written in 1st person past tense which I can't believe I did for several early stories in this series.

The day weighed heavily on me, but I couldn't sleep. Something that Drusilla had murmured before sinking into sleep bothered me.

That she loved 'her Angel'.

How could she love our sire? I hadn't been there when he had stalked, tortured and turned her, but I had heard the stories. He had been a monster, out of control, yet in deadly control at the same time. He had destroyed her bit by bit, taking away her family, her friends, her sanity.

I knew he had found her in a convent and turned her. I didn't know the details of that event. I'm not sure I wanted to know.

Whatever Angelus had done to her had broken her into little bits.

Drusilla stirred in her sleep, curling more tightly against me. I found it interesting and rather telling that always in bed with the two of us, the two males in her life, she unconsciously turned towards me.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her close, resting my chin on the top of her head, and let my eyes drift shut.

~~~~~

I open my eyes and look around, confused. Stone walls splashed with blood surround me. Torn apart corpses litter the floor. I spin slowly, seeing yet not understanding.

Until I see her--cowering in a corner behind an overturned lectern, her arms wrapped around her head, rocking and singing to herself.

"Jesus loves me, this I know..."

I hear him before I see him. Maniacal laughter booms through the chapel, for I now realize where I am.

The chapel, in the convent, where Drusilla was turned.

I don't want to be here.

Angelus strides across the room, crossing my line of vision, blood dripping from his mouth, staining his once pristine white shirt. He kicks aside the head of a nun, steps over the torso of another, and picks up an arm to suck the remaining blood from it, all the while making his way towards that corner.

And she continues to sing.

I open my mouth to say something, anything to stop him. Nothing emerges.

And I realize that I'm not really here. I can't be here. I was in America, away from the insanity of my sire, trying to find out who I was without him.

I wasn't there when he hurt her so badly.

But...now I am...and I can't stop it and I don't want to watch it.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, my little slut," Angelus sings as he tosses the arm aside.

He knows where she is, but I watch as he pretends to search for her.

"I'll hurt you more if you don't come out." He laughs and I cringe at the evil that overwhelms anything joyous in the sound. "Oh, never mind, I plan to hurt you quite a bit regardless."

I move forward, stepping over bodies, vaguely noticing that the cuffs of my trousers are becoming wet with blood and gore. I try to reach her first, but I run into an invisible wall. At first, it seems to be like the shield around a house to which a vampire hasn't been invited. But, no shield has ever grabbed me as this one does and sets me on a pew.

Briefly I struggle, trying to rise, then I hear Drusilla whimper and I stop fighting it, concentrating on her. Angelus is bending over her, tugging her to her feet. She struggles futilely and snippets of prayers reach my ears.

"Lord Jesus, save me...protect me...I am your bride." She continues to pray as Angelus roars in laughter and drags her to the altar.

As he picks her up and tosses her on top of the blood- stained silk altar cloth, Angelus grins wildly. "How can an evil thing like you be married to one so pure?"

"I'm pure. I am. I am," she protests, twisting as his hands press her shoulders down onto the stone. "Oh, the sisters, why. Why did you do this?" She moans as her eyes flutter around the desecrated chapel, all the while her body struggles in his embrace.

As her eyes pass over me--not seeing me, I know--I feel my heart break at the emptiness in her gaze. She's not even afraid anymore--too far past fear to feel anything.

And, Angelus realizes it. Releasing her, he raises himself up far enough to be able to grip the neck of her white habit and rip it from her body.

Drusilla continues to look towards me. I know she can't possibly see me, but she doesn't look away. She's mumbling prayers again. "You can break this body. It is a shell, nothing else. My soul is pure. I will go to heaven. Jesus loves me."

"Jesus hates you, you silly bitch," Angelus scoffs as he finishes pulling her tattered habit from her, baring her pale, nude body. "You've been mine since before you were born, consecrated to evil, to Hell."

"No."

His hand lashes out, cracking across her face and I try to yell again as I watch the blood flow from her broken nose. "You'll learn," Angelus growls. "My word is law."

"If I die before I wake..."

"Your soul is already damned. You only sinned more by taking these vows."

Her head rolls slowly, denying his hateful words. "I am a child of God." She looks up at him and Angelus glares back, then pulls off his bloody clothes. His cock is hard and hungry for her and I watch as she notices and trembles even more.

As he reaches for her legs and yanks her towards him, he growls and morphs, setting his demon free. "Then you are MY child, for I am YOUR god." His claws are digging into her hips and blood begins to flow in narrow rivulets down her legs as he pulls her ever closer. Drusilla stares at the ceiling and clasps her hands together in prayer.

And he impales her on his cock.

Her scream of pain echoes through the chapel, joined by his laughter. "A virgin bride for a demon. Only fitting."

"Nooo, not you...For Him, for Jesus." Her hands dig into the altar cloth and I watch her bite her lip enough to make it bleed as Angelus begins to plow her deeply, hard and fast.

He can go on like this for hours. I know very well his lusts and stamina.

She's crying now, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. He's hurting her, tearing her, as his body slams into her again and again.

Angelus grabs her legs and drives them back towards her chest, forcing his cock deeper inside her and she screams again, her voice high and shrill.

"Please stop."

I barely hear that whispered plea, but he does and he laughs. His laughter makes me want to rip his spine from him and strangle him with it.

"Oh no, lovey, I'm not stopping until I rip out your cunt with my cock."

Drusilla shudders at the threat, although I'm not certain she understands it fully. She's shaking now, in pain and shock. I wonder how she managed to survive this. For I know she did. She was still alive several hours after the initial violation. Still alive when he drained her and forced her to become a demon.

I feel the tears wetting my face and do nothing to stop their flow. I want to help her, but I know I can't. I'm not really here. I can't stop it. I can only watch.

And learn. Learn exactly what he did to her to drive her totally insane.

Learn exactly what he did to make her love him.

The rape goes on forever it seems. Angelus thrusts endlessly, never tiring, grunting and growling in pleasure as he ravages her limp body.

Drusilla lays still, her eyes wide and staring at the ceiling. She no longer cries, no longer makes any sound. The only noise is coming from Angelus and the sound their bodies make when they slap together.

Is she no longer in pain? How can that be? Is she numb? Or has her mind fled, taking with it her ability to feel pain?

Angelus must be thinking the same things, for he finally pulls free of her, backing away and letting her legs drop. I see the bright red blood staining his cock and marring her shaking thighs.

There's so much blood.

"Where are you, slut? Where have you gone?" Angelus barks.

There's no response. I know she's alive. I can see her chest shallowly rising and falling; hear her heart fluttering.

Suddenly, Angelus punches her hard in the stomach. A small gasp breaks from her, then a moan and she tries to curl up.

"There you are."

"Please...wh...what do you want...with me?" Her voice is so weak, so pathetic as she tries to understand something so far beyond anything she ever imagined.

"I want to see what you see, behind your eyes, in the darkness of your evil little mind."

Drusilla begins to mumble again, a prayer we all still know by heart. "...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil..."

His fist cracks across her face, breaking her nose and cheek, splitting her lip and shutting her up. Drusilla lays dazed, only half conscious as blood flows over her face.

Growling in fury, Angelus flips her onto her stomach, delighting in her groans of pain, her now shaking body. Shoving her up the altar, he climbs up with her, straddling her legs.

I know what's coming next. Again I try to scream at him to stop, but no sound emerges. My eyes fix on the scene before me and I watch her turn her head towards me again. Tears mingle with the blood flowing across her battered face, and she scrabbles at the stone altar.

She can't possibly be aware of what he's going to do to her next.

Angelus' hands are on her perfect bottom, spreading the cheeks. He lifts her slightly and I see his cock thrust against her puckered little hole. Drusilla gasps and her eyes widen more.

"Sin," she mumbles through a blood filled mouth. "Noooo. I'm not evil. I'm not. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not..." She screams as he stabs his cock into her anus, thrusting brutally to the hilt. Wrapping one arm around her hips, he keeps her held up off the altar as he saws in and out of her.

Blood splatters, covering them both from her torn passage. She continues to scream, animalistic sounds of agony. I bite my lips until blood fills my mouth. My hands dig into the back of the pew in front of me, but I can't stand. I can't go help her. Something holds me down, makes me watch.

Finally, Angelus pulls out of her again and I watch as blood flows from her, soaking the cloth beneath her. He bends down and laps at the red puddles, grinning in delight.

Drusilla's screams dwindle to whimpers. Her eyes open again, but are unfocused and wild. As Angelus walks towards her head, she tries to move, tries to scramble back, but her strength is gone, her body too sore and battered to move.

Gasping for breath, she slumps on her side on the altar and waits for the next degradation.

"Open your mouth."

And she obeys, her mouth opening. Wrapping his hands in her hair, Angelus thrusts his cock down her throat, making her taste her blood and shit. She gags, but her struggles are weak, her eyes empty.

He pulls back and she gasps for air, then he thrusts again. "Suck, slut. Like I taught you."

I watch as her mouth feebly begins to move up and down his dick as he thrusts hard, slamming his stomach against her broken nose.

Again, it seems to go on forever. I don't know how she survives it. Finally, Angelus pulls free, his cock now clean, but still rock hard. He pumps it for a moment as his eyes run over her bloody, sweaty, shaking body, then he rolls her onto her back.

"So, which hole should I finish in? Which did you like the best?" His tone of voice is almost pleasant, asking the question as if he expects her to answer with eagerness. "Cunt, ass or mouth, my whore?"

Drusilla stares at him, her eyes blank with shock and pain. Angelus makes a tsking noise and grabs one of her nipples, twisting it savagely.

Another scream erupts from her, a howl of such agonized despair that I want to curl up under the pew, my hands over my ears, and scream along with her.

"Which one, slut?" he demands.

"...Our Father who..."

That's all she can get out through battered lips and broken face, but it enrages him and he begins to hit her, slapping her back and forth across her breasts and thighs, eliciting whimpers and moans from her. Grabbing her arm, he yanks her off the altar and flings her to the floor. I hear her kneecap shatter on the stone and she topples over, no longer even crying at the new source of pain.

Again she looks at me and her eyes are cloudy now, hazy with despair, pain and resignation. She knows she's dying. Blood leaks from too many places in her body and she's torn on the inside and broken on the outside.

Angelus grabs her by the hair, yanking her onto her one good knee. Rubbing his cock on her face, he pulls her head back, nearly snapping her neck. "Open."

Drusilla obeys again. I remember him saying once that he had taught her to fellate him several months before he turned her. Angelus thrusts into her mouth, forcing her cheeks to balloon out. I count the thrusts, wondering how much longer this can go on before either he finishes or she dies.

I count the thrusts because simply watching is driving me insane.

On the twenty-second thrust, Angelus throws his head back, howls in pleasure and comes, filling her mouth to overflowing with his dead seed.

Drusilla tries to swallow, but most spills out and runs down her chin to drip on her bruised breasts. She gags and gasps, whimpering like an animal as he uses her hair to wipe the spittle and jism off his cock, then flings her away.

I watch helplessly as she curls into a ball, a low keening coming from her tortured mouth.

Recovered from his orgasm, Angelus begins to put on his blood-stained clothes, his eyes never leaving her. Dressed, he leans back against the altar and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Come to me, Drusilla."

For nearly a minute there's no response. She continues to clutch herself, keening. But, then her limbs uncurl, slowly. She lifts her head with effort, swaying dizzily. Her one leg useless, she still manages to crawl the few feet necessary to reach him.

Her voice is raw and full of pain as she begs him to kill her.

"Oh, Drusilla, Drusilla, you don't ever get to die. You're mine for all eternity. My toy. My little doll."

She whimpers and leans her head against his thigh, her hand reaching for his arm. "Please."

Reaching down, Angelus lifts her to her feet, supporting her as she sways, her one leg crumpling beneath her. Fresh tears from God alone knows where leak from her eyes as she gasps for breath.

"Why?" is all she manages to gasp out as she sags against him.

"Because I love you, Drusilla, and I needed to make you mine, to make you understand that you are mine until the end of time. We always hurt the ones we love," he quips, smiling down into her glazed eyes.

Liar. He doesn't love her. He's obsessed with her. Wants to possess her. Wants to hurt her. But, none of that is love.

She doesn't answer him. I'm not sure she even hears him any longer as he tells her all the things he's still going to do to her...and tells her that she will love them.

Gritting my teeth, I watch as he morphs again, his fangs glistening in the light of several dozen candles. Her head is on his shoulder, her throat bared for him. It's so easy for him to sink his fangs into her and drain her.

I don't want to watch this. I know what happens next. Suddenly the force holding me there is gone, but I don't move.

I close my eyes.

~~~~~

I opened my eyes and saw Drusilla staring at me, her eyes burning with an insane intensity. Flustered, I pulled back slightly and she blinked.

"Did you see?" she whispered dreamily. "Did you see what my Angel did to me? All because he loves me. He tore away my purity and filled me with his evil. He needed to open me for the demon. He had to show me the exquisiteness of pain."

As I tried to absorb her words, I glanced over her shoulder and saw that Angelus lay on his back, deeply asleep. Good. If he was awake and made one of his snide comments, In my present mood, I'd probably do something stupid and try to pound him into the floor.

"Why did you show me all that, Drusilla?" I asked her, my hands gently caressing her back as she pressed against me.

"You...you always touch me with such tenderness. I don't deserve it."

"Why would you think that?"

"I'm evil." To her, her answer was so simple that my heart nearly broke.

"That doesn't mean that you deserve to be hurt."

"I like to be hurt."

At the innocence and honesty in her voice, I bit back an instinctive angry retort and pulled her closer, whispering, "I'm sorry, my love, but I can't hurt you."

Gently she caressed my forehead and cheek, then placed a soft kiss on my lips. "That's okay. Daddy likes to hurt me too much to share my punishments, even with you." Moving her mouth across my cheek, she nipped at my earlobe and whispered, "I love how you touch me and make me feel all warm and tingly. I don't deserve your tenderness, but I'll always treasure it."

"Oh, luv," I moaned.

Her knee began to rub against my hardening cock and I felt her smile against my neck before she licked behind my ear. "Show me YOUR love, William. Love that doesn't hurt."

Forcing the images of the dream to the back of my mind, I caught her lips with mine, delving my tongue inside her mouth, as my hands cupped her buttocks and lifted her against me. My cock strained against her smooth stomach and I felt a shudder run through her.

Her hands caressed my back, softly at first, then harder as her desire began to grow. I smelled her arousal, then felt her dampness as she wrapped one leg around my waist and squirmed against me.

Reaching down, I lifted the leg higher, opening her for me. Rubbing my cock along her wet cleft, I listened to her moan into my mouth, felt her hand clutch my shoulder. Her nipples were little rocks poking into my chest and I moved until my nipples caressed hers.

Gripping her buttock, I buried my mouth in her throat and thrust my cock inside her. Drusilla keened softly, her leg tightening around me as we lay on our sides, joined together, as close as we could get to the other.

She moved first, using her leg to draw herself up and down my cock. Her tight, wet passage sucked at me, nearly biting as she compressed her muscles. Groaning in pleasure, I lifted one breast to my mouth and suckled hungrily.

Slowly I rolled onto my back, drawing her over me. Whimpering in desire, Drusilla rose above me, her knees tightly pressed to my sides as she ground herself down on my cock.

One hand cupped a breast as the other slid between her legs, finding her throbbing clitoris. I squeezed her nipple, then her clit, smiling as she moaned and bounced on my cock. Her long hair fell onto my chest, caressing me as she moved, up and down. Her fingers opened and closed on my shoulders and she leaned forward, pressing her breast into my hand.

I drew it to my mouth, nipping at the tender flesh, flicking the nipple with my tongue, all the while continuing to caress her clit with my thumb. Drusilla whimpered my name and surged against my hands.

She was moving faster now, thrusting my cock deep inside her, squeezing it until my eyes nearly crossed with pleasure. I felt the churning in my balls, knew my release was imminent, and caressed her clit harder, wanting her to climax first.

Suddenly she stiffened, her eyes going dark with lust, then her body flew out of control as her orgasm hit, sending her vagina into shudders that nearly ripped my cock from me. Shaking and whimpering, she continued to ride me, pumping on me until I let myself go, my orgasm sending my dead seed deep inside her as my hips thrust up against her.

Slowly we collapsed together, still joined. Drusilla slumped forward and my hands slid around her back, absently caressing her bottom as her pussy continued to suck gently at my softening cock.

"I love you," she murmured, pillowing her head on my chest, her eyes drooping shut.

I glanced over and saw that our sire continued to sleep, oblivious to the world as he always was after a morning of wild sex, then looked down at my love. "I love you too, Drusilla, for always."

"...Always."

Holding her close, not letting myself slip from inside her, I closed my eyes. All I could see was the joy on her face as she had climaxed. Joy caused by pleasure, not pain. If I had my way, it would always be that way.

End


End file.
